Firsts

The past two weeks have been filled with Zoey's firsts; she has just taken off. She has been showering me with her firsts: first teething cookie, first sweet potatoes, first time saying Mommy, first army crawl, first time (just this morning) saying her sister's name...well kind of, she said "Mia"! This week she also has been saying, "Yeah"! So cute, gives me butterflies in my stomach! I love seeing my girls change and grow, makes a mom gitty with excitement. These are the times when a mom is rewarded and a stay-at-home mom is reminded why she is lucky to be present every second of every day! As children grow, seeing their new accomplishments become harder to spot and farther apart.

With Malia, everything was so new; when she did anything they weren't just her firsts but they were my firsts too as a mom. Watching my first born talk, crawl and sit up were all my first time experiences as her mom. I think I cried with every first, I know I cried every time we changed clothes sizes--Chris would just laugh at me. I didn't want my baby to grow up so fast. I was soaking every experience with her up and I didn't want to miss one second. I wasn't sure when I would be going back to work, so I tried hard to be present for every little thing. I laugh now, first time parent-rookie move! I am still as interested in all that Zoey does but not feeling as crazed about catching it all. I am more interested in enjoying it as it happens and staying present in the miracle of her changing everyday.

I got a little lost in doing things right with Malia that I couldn't always see that I was missing some of the little precious mommy moments. I was so set that she was going to crawl that I missed her army crawl. I was worried about smothering her at night when I slept, so I moved her quickly to her own room at 3 months and began sleep training. Which is good, but I was so set on sleep training that I never let her fall asleep on me for fear she would become dependent. I missed how precious it was to have your baby cuddle against you, safe in your arms that she would fall asleep in them. With Zoey, I sleep train but I am not as crazed about it, I want my baby to feel comfortable enough to sleep in my arms and be okay to fall asleep on her own...maybe its not what the professionals suggest, but it is my choice! Not all firsts need to be repeated! :)

As Malia grows, her firsts are happening at a slower rate so they are easy to miss. I am happy to be home where I can stay aware of her changes and recognize when they occur. My girls achievements big or small are equally as amazing to me but seeing them experience firsts together is a blessing. As Zoey speaks her first words I am also watching Malia's first cheerleading moments, as Zoey makes her first army crawls toward tiny toys, I am watching Malia's first moments of protecting her sister; both of which are their first steps toward being life long friends and creating a sister bond. I recognize these because they are the same ones my siblings and I shared. The foundation steps that let me know I could always trust that they would be there for me when I needed them, that they would cheer me, protect me, and love me no matter what.

So in my Mommy haze this week, I am celebrating all the firsts that have been accomplished and the foundation my family is building. I am thankful to be present of
mind, present of spirit, and present in body to experience all of life's miracles my girls are sharing with me.

Sometimes this circus can seem so spectacular with so many amazing acts going on at one time it is hard to appreciate the elephant tamers bond with the pachyderm or the jugglers adept balancing skills. So while we should enjoy the whole show under our big top remember to stop a moment and appreciate the individual acts as they are truly wanting your attention and applause!